Boppa Blog Issue 7

Boppa with Aja & Sam
January 25, 2009 Boppa attended his grandson, Sam’s, wedding. It was a wonderful time, but if you asked Dad today if he remembers attending, he would say no. In fact, if you had asked him the day after he would have said no. So, as Joanne Koenig Coste suggests, in Learning To Speak Alzheimer’s, you can either change the subject or you can recount how much fun you had, who you got to see, and even what you ate.
I give Dad photos of the event and put them on his photo board, so that we can talk about the event. I try to include photos with him in them. The photo above, showing him shaking hands, is an example of what Coste suggests to do when the patient does not remember who you are, simply introduce yourself and carry on with the conversation. I have watched this happen many times with Dad. He just introduces himself, when he does not remember the person. The young man Dad is shaking hands with is Aja’s brother, Mike, and Dad had just met him that day.
Coste also suggests not helping the person remember, but I find this very hard to do, so I refer to the photo, and because Dad looks at his photos everyday, sometimes it gives him faces to connect with. I’m not saying this will work with every early stage Alzheimer’s patient, but it may help.
Blessings!
Pam

Rebuilding the Boppa Blog

Boppa Blog
Issue #8
A Best Friend Initiates Activities, state Virginia Bell & David Troxel in The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s Care. Because the Alzheimer’s patient often loses the ability to initiate activities, it is a mistake to always ask the patient if he/she wants to do something. The answer will often be “No.” A Best Friend simply says, “Come on, let’s go for a walk. It’s a beautiful day.” or “I would like to take a walk. Come on, join me” (Bell 49).

Monday, April 27, 2009
New Spring Wardrobe for Boppa
Lorrie & I joined Dad for a Spring/Easter Brunch at American House on Saturday April 11th. Sunday we went to Lorrie & Rod’s for dinner. Rod’s Mom Al and his Aunt Mabel joined us. (Photos above)
After brunch that Saturday we took Dad shopping at Kohl’s for some new, larger pants. This little outing was an adventure as usual. I sent Dad into the fitting room with a pair of pants a size larger than the ones he had on. Luckily there wasn’t anyone else around, so I could wait right outside. Several minutes went by and I finally asked Dad if he had the pants on. He said “No, they are too big!” Lorrie and I both felt it was important to get Dad into bigger pants, since he had gained another seven pounds. The pants he was wearing were too tight and had to be wore under his stomach.
I don’t have any qualms about dressing my father. So, I went into the fitting room, had Dad step into the pants, pulled them up, buttoned & zipped them. Then I sent him out to show Lorrie. She uses humor a lot when dealing with Dad’s Alzheimer moments, and this was definitely one of those moments. The new pants did fit perfect around his stomach. Lorrie agreed, laughed a little and told him he looked great. Dad said “I won’t wear them. Their too big!” My sister and I just looked at each other and smiled, and told him again they looked great and they fit perfect.
We picked out two more pair and three shirts to go with them. During this process Dad just kept muttering he wouldn’t wear them, he didn’t need them, and why were we buying them.
One thing we have learned is not to listen to the Alzheimer’s, because usually the next day Dad will not remember. I bought the new outfits, took them home, washed, ironed and hemmed the pants. The next day, Easter Sunday, I took the new clothes to Dad and said “Happy Easter here are your Easter Clothes, let’s pick out an Easter outfit to wear to Lorrie’s. He put on the new pants and shirt without one word of objection. When we got to Lorrie & Rod’s everyone complimented him on his new outfit.
A month and a half ago we hired a registered/bonded nurse to make sure Dad gets a shower on Tuesday and Friday. She has worked with many people at American House since 1997, and is really good with Dad. She actually gave Dad a shower the first time, but since then Dad gets in the shower before she arrives. But, she said Dad does fine taking a shower by himself, so she just makes sure he is clean, washed his hair, and put on clean clothes. She is very glad we got Dad larger pants, getting dressed is much easier for him.
So my advice this month is don’t listen to those Alzheimer’s moments, listen to your heart and head, and do whatever needs to be done.
After dinner Easter Sunday Dad told me “I like my new clothes,” and gave me a hug. This disease never ceases to amaze me.
Blessings!
Pam


Tenet#4 cont.: Live in the Patient’s World: Behavioral Changes
Not Retaining Information or Memory of Events, such as a wedding (110). Coste suggests you can say “We had such a lovely time and the chocolate cake was delicious” (110).

Boppa July and August 2009

Above right is Boppa with his great-granddaughter, Ceci, During my daughter’s visit in July, Ceci and Boppa had several playful interchanges. My daughter and I both observed them playing what seemed to be nonsensical games, but to them made perfect sense. The one I observed was in Blimpey Burgers. While we waited Ceci and Boppa played a hand patting game. Four year old Ceci was the director of these interchanges. She would say “Now Boppa, you have to do it this way” or that or whatever  way she thought of and he would laugh. Sometimes he did it correctly and sometimes not. But the interesting thing is that when he watched her hands he would follow her perfectly. He didn’t get her verbal instructions, but he did get them if she showed him with her own hands. They played this way for about a half hour until our food arrived.

The quote for this issue “What we see depends upon where we sit” is so very true. Boppa and Ceci saw their games as just plain fun. I on the other watched to see how this Alzhiemer’s patient interacted with a four year old, totally fascinated.

Tuesday, August 4, I was able to go with Lorrie and Dad on an American House outing to Frankenmuth. It really was a fun day with lunch at the Bavarian Inn, a walk over the cover bridge and exploring the many shops in River Place.

The Boppa blog lost the first nine entries when I had to repair my iweb. I was able to save the text into a word document, but I have not had time yet to replace them. 

Many Blessings to All!

Pam

Dad/Boppa Loves Family Events

Family events help keep Dad/Boppa in touch with his “feelings, will, sensibilities, moral being” (Kuhn 138). Even though he may not remember exactly who people are,  I can see it in his face when he makes a connection emotionally. The photos above show that connection. The left photo is of Dad at great grandson Isaiah’s first birthday party, that memory can still be accessed and you can see it in his big smile. The second photo is of Dad with his niece Louanne’s son. Craig lives in Nevada and Dad has not seen him in ten years, so the memory is older and you can see it in his face. He has connected emotionally, but not completely. Dad just knew he was with family and that is all that counts.

As Kuhn quotes  Patti Davis, daughter of former President Reagan, in her book Angels Don’t Die “. . .I looked at my father. His eyes met mine, and what I saw there told me it only mattered that we were there together. . .” ( 147).

And filmmaker Deborah Hoffman makes a similar realization in her documentary Complaints of a Dutiful Daughter when she states, “For the longest time I insisted upon truth and reality being important. So she [mother] would say it’s April when it was really May. And I would say, ‘Oh no, it’s May.’ And finally it dawned on me. ‘What does it matter?’ . . .what does it matter if she thinks it’s April?” (147).  

What does it matter if the person does not remember the month, the name, the place, the person? What matters is the moment, the togetherness, the emotion that can be seen in the face, felt in the touch, and heard in the laughter. 

Blessings

Pam